The Wizard of Moo
by Chibikawa
Summary: Completely random, completely OOC. Probably not my best work 'cause I'm trying to make it short. Whether you like the Wizard of Oz or not, this is just a fun little thing basically made out of pure boredom. Rated T for language later on. Last chapter up!
1. Chapter 1: Somewhere New

**The Wizard of Moo**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

This is just a random parody I thought up while I was bored. Be warned, this is completely OOC.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Somewhere New**

"Popka!"

"Nyeh!"

"You freaky little dog! I'll take you to the pound for that!"

"I'm not a freaky little dog!"

"What's going on here?"

A small crowd stood semi-circling four characters. One was a dark skinned woman, holding her arms and staring irritably at two people in front of her. They were a girl and an odd looking dog-like creature.

"Sheriff Suiryu, I demand that wild animal be taken away!" the dark skinned woman ordered to a blue dragon-like man. "Why's that?" the sheriff asked. "It bit me!"

"I'm not an 'it!'" The dog, Popka, growled. Lolo, the girl, held him to her chest. "Popka!"

Suiryu looked at them. "Is this true?" He asked. "Well…" Lolo hesitated. "Yeah, it's true. So what? She deserved it! She kicked me!" Popka admitted.

"That's because you were staring at me with that ugly, freaky little face of yours!" Leorina, the dark skinned woman, shot back. Popka writhed out of Lolo's grasp. "That's it!"

He tackled Leorina, though, being less than half her size, didn't knock her over. Suiryu grabbed Popka's scruff and came between the two. "You see?! That thing's wild!" Leorina yelled. "Maybe you're right," Suiryu began, considering this.

"What? No! Popka's not wild!" Lolo protested, though she didn't seem convincing as Popka tried to swipe his claws at Suiryu's face. "Leggo!!"

"All right, I'm just gonna have to do something with you, then," Suiryu decided. "But Popka's not wild!" But Lolo's calls weren't heard. The crowd began to break apart and the sheriff was stomping off with the struggling Popka. "Should've put that thing on a leash," Leorina sneered, and she, too, left.

Lolo felt her eyes grow teary. She spun around and ran off.

At a farm were three furry boys. Currently, they were leaning or sitting on piles of hay. They watched silently as Lolo ran past them and into the nearby house, sobbing.

"Lolo's back."

"Sounds like Popka got in trouble again."

"Seems worse this time."

"Maybe one of us should go in there and comfort her."

They looked at each other.

"We're not getting paid to be parents."

"We're barely being paid at all."

They sighed.

"He'll get out on his own, anyway."

"Like last time."

"I need a soda."

"This is supposed to be based off of a movie that came out in the yearly 1900's. There was no soda back then."

"Was there? Well, the author doesn't know that."

"I guess you're right."

With that, the three boys gulped down refreshing coca-cola.

Lolo sat on her bed, head in her knees. "Poor Popka…" She mumbled softly. "I never liked being pitied." Lolo looked up quickly to see Popka perched on her windowsill like a bird.

"Popka!" Lolo yelled delightfully. Popka jumped to her bed. "How'd you get out?"

"I dug a hole in that cellar weeks ago! I'm surprised that old sheriff hasn't seen it yet," Popka grinned with a touch of pride. "Oh… I guess that explains why so many criminals have been escaping lately," Lolo said. "Oops. Oh well. That mean 'ol Leorina will never keep _me_ locked up!"

"Leorina… she'll be back to get you again," Lolo sighed. "Maybe we should leave." She looked up at Popka's sudden suggestion. "Leave?"

"Yeah. I'm kinda tired of this place, anyway. Nothing new happens anymore," Popka said. "I don't know… I've never left Lunatea before. If only we could go… somewhere over the rainbow," Lolo replied dreamily.

"There's nothing over the rainbow but a pot 'o gold… which doesn't sound too bad right about now… B-But, no…!" Popka paused, trying to remember the topic again. "We don't have to leave Lunatea, just this town. Let's go to… I know! Joilant!" He jumped. Lolo laughed a little. "Of course you'd want to go there… I guess so…"

"Awright, then! Let's go!" Popka prompted, jumping to the windowsill again. "Oh! But I haven't packed my things!"

The two set out as quickly as they could. They snuck past the three boys, who were still doing nothing meaningful, silently. They made it to Joilant by nightfall.

"It's getting kinda windy," Lolo remarked, holding her arms. "Let's go in there," Popka suggested, pointing to a small building.

The door was unlocked and the two let themselves in.

"Hello there!!"

"Gwak!"

Popka jumped into Lolo's arms as a large man showed himself. "My name's Pango, the fortune teller. Are you here to seek your future?" The man asked, smiling. "Um…" Lolo looked at Popka, who was sliding down to the floor. "No way!" He barked. "Oh?"

"Um… I just ran away from home… We wanted a place to get away from the wind," Lolo stammered. Pango frowned. "Ran away, huh? Well, you're welcomed here. Why don't I tell you your fortune while you're here?" He asked, sitting down at the large, round table.

"B-But… I don't have any money," Lolo replied. "Oh, that's fine. This one's on me," Pango smiled. "Good, 'cause fortune tellers are full 'o baloney," Popka remarked thoughtlessly. "Popka!" Lolo scowled.

"Please, sit down," Pango offered. "Um, thank you," Lolo replied sheepishly, taking a seat. Pango raised his large arms over a crystal ball, humming slightly, eyes closed.

"Baloney," Popka whistled quietly. Lolo shushed him.

"I see… a mother…?" Pango looked at Lolo with one eye. "I don't have a mother," Lolo said simply. "Well, she _looks_ like a mother," Pango corrected quickly.

"That must be my aunt, then," Lolo said. She rubbed her arm when Popka roughly poked her, as if she had done something wrong. "Yes! Your aunt… she is… very sick," Pango said slowly. "Sick?! But she was fine this morning!" Lolo exclaimed.

"You should go to her right away," Pango suggested. "Baloney! You only want us to go home!" Popka barked. "My aunt is sick! We've gotta go!" Lolo jumped to her feet, grabbed Popka, and ran outside.

Pango sat there silently. He then leaned back, his arms behind his head, sighing. "Almost got caught there for a moment. Kids these days…"

"Lolo! Slow down!" Popka yelled over the loud winds. Lolo wasn't listening as she ran down the road as fast as she could. The wind was blowing with her, helping her run faster. Popka was having a wild time flying in the sky.

"It feels like a twister!"

"We've gotta get home!"

Faster than she had expected, Lolo saw her house. She ran inside, not noticing that the boys were gone and no one had been around. She searched her house. "No one's here!"

"Ya don't think this really is a twister, right?" Popka asked a bit nervously. Before Lolo could reply, her house suddenly shook wildly. She and Popka were flung to the side, immediately knocked out.

Lolo felt warm wind blowing her hair back what seemed like soon after. She opened her eyes and slowly stood up, stumbling slightly as the house rocked like a boat.

Popka was already up, staring out the window. "Er, Lolo, you might wanna look at this," he said. Lolo carefully made her way to him and grasped the windowsill. She gasped.

The house seemed to be in the sky. About 40 feet below them was the ground. How the old house was staying in one piece, Lolo didn't want to question.

Something large flew by, carried by the wind. "Moooo!"

"Was that a giant Moo?!" Popka exclaimed incredulously. "Is that Leorina?!!" Lolo yelled louder. She was there, and then she suddenly changed. Her skin color turned dark green and a broom stick appeared from under her. She laughed maniacally as she flew off.

"That was weird…" was all Popka could say. Suddenly, the house rocked and then was still. Lolo and Popka could feel gravity going against them as the house began to fall.

"Mayday! Mayday! We're going down!" Popka yelled, practically on the ceiling by now.

When the house finally smashed to the ground, Lolo and Popka were thrown down, as well. "Okay… I guess I got what was coming to me when I said nothing new happens around here," Popka grunted. Lolo slowly stood up and looked out the window.

"Popka… I don't think we're in Lunatea anymore."

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Hrrm... still bored... I'm gonna go do something else boring now... then I'll start on the second chapter... 


	2. Chapter 2: Weird Stuff

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

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**Chapter 2: Weird Stuff**

Lolo and Popka cautiously walked out of their astoundingly still in one piece house. Everything was very colorful and decorated. It almost looked fake.

Popka laughed slightly to himself. "Am I the only one who thinks this place kinda looks like that chocolate factory from Willy Wonka, excluding the chocolate?" He asked.

Lolo didn't reply, still taking in her surroundings.

"Now all we need is those little people."

Lolo stopped, pointing ahead. "Um, Popka…"

Popka followed her gaze. A small distance away were small figures hiding in the shadows. Their round eyes stared at them.

"Little people!" Popka chirped, highly amused. One of the figures accidentally stumbled out of the shadows, revealing its longs ear and round body. Popka gasped.

"Moo people! Aa-hah!!" He shrieked, leaping on Lolo's head. Lolo just stared, not knowing how she should react.

The Moo-like people began chattering amongst themselves, pointing ahead. Lolo tried to follow their gazes and turned around. She froze when she saw what they were fussing about.

"Jeez… she was at the wrong place at the wrong time, huh?" Popka remarked, chuckling slightly when he saw it, too. It was two feet sticking out from under Lolo's house. On the feet were red slippers.

"Do you think she's…?" Lolo didn't want to finish, so Popka bluntly did for her. "Dead? Of course! You squashed her like a _pancake_," Popka laughed, stretching his voice.

"How can you joke about something like this?! We _killed_ someone!" Lolo yelled in despair.

"You most certainly did," a new, soft voice agreed. A bubble suddenly appeared in the sky. It seemed small at first, but got much bigger as it got closer.

"Gwak!"

Popka jumped behind Lolo as a woman appeared from the bubble.

"U-Um… who are you?" Lolo stammered. "I'm called the Good Witch of the North, but you can call me Lephise," the woman smiled.

Popka looked over from behind Lolo. "We're not gonna get in trouble for this, are we?" He asked reluctantly.

"Quite the opposite, actually. That was the Wicked Witch of the East you just flattened. She's been terrorizing Littlemooland and other lands for so long. You knew just how to kill her, didn't you?"

Lolo blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You dropped a house on her. That was the only way to kill this witch," Lephise replied.

"That's ironic. I mean, what are the odds?" Popka asked.

"Not too slim, apparently," Lolo muttered.

Lephise looked toward the Moo people. She motioned them to come closer. "Come on out. There's nothing to be afraid of," she encouraged.

Slowly, the Moo people came out and got closer. They stared at the feet under the house. Lephise summarized what had happened in five simple words. "The Wicked Witch is dead."

The Moo people blinked, as if not comprehending it. And then, suddenly, as if becoming different people, they all freaked out.

"Delayed reaction much?" Popka muttered as the Moo people began chanting happily.

"The Wicked Witch—Moo!"

"Is dead—Moo!"

"Oh no, they're _singing_!" Popka squeaked as the chant suddenly got a tune. The Moo people danced around and screamed wildly.

Lephise looked a bit embarrassed. "I've never seen them act this way," she admitted. Some Moo people even began to strip off their clothes, throwing them in the air.

"Lolo, I think we should go," Popka suggested, afraid to see any more. Lolo nodded slowly, but when she turned to Lephise a different question came to mind. "Did you say 'this' witch?"

Lephise nodded. "Yes. There's another witch."

"That would be me!"

In a red puff of smoke and fire appeared a green skinned old hag dressed in black. The Moo people screamed and held each other. "That was my sister you squashed!"

"Aw, I'm sorry," Lolo apologized, suddenly feeling bad. The Witch waved a hand dismissively. "I don't care! I only want her slippers," she crackled.

Lephise stepped forward. "Not a chance!" She lifted a wand she had been carrying and said a few magic words. With a flash of light, the slippers were on Lolo's feet.

"Whoa—Hey! W-What happened to my other shoes?" Lolo stammered, bewildered.

"They're… gone. I suppose," Lephise replied slowly, not really knowing the answer herself.

Lolo pouted. "Jeez… those weren't cheap, you know. And these are tight."

"They're supposed to be tight," Lephise said simply. She turned to the Wicked Witch of the West. "Don't forget. Your powers are useless in Littlemooland."

The witch gripped her ugly hand. "Curses. I'll get you, my pretty—and your freaky little dog, too!" With that, the witch disappeared in more fire and smoke.

"She called me pretty," Lolo said with a small smile, as if taking it as a compliment.

"She called me a freaky little dog!" Popka growled, clenching his claws like a fist.

"Now, I suppose you want to go home?" Lephise suddenly said, as if she were reading Lolo's mind. "U-Um, yes!" Lolo replied quickly.

"Then you'll have to visit…" Lephise paused and glance at the now silent Moo people, "the Wizard of Moo."

The Moo people suddenly began singing again.

"The Wizard—Moo!"

"Of Moo—Moo!"

"Moo!"

"Just keeps getting weirder, huh?" Popka whispered to Lolo. Lolo blinked. "How do we get to the… Wizard of Moo?" She asked.

Lephise paused again. "Follow the yellow brick road."

"Follow the yellow—Moo!"

"Brick road—Moo!"

Lolo and Popka looked down, just noticing the thick yellow line swirling around the village and into a forest. "It'll take you to Moon City, where the Wizard of Moo lives," Lephise said.

The Moo people began singing a new song again. "Sucks to the yellow brick road! Let's just get out of here!" Popka yelled. Ignoring the pattern of the road, the two ran forward and into the forest, escaping the singing Moo people with their sanity.

"I'm tired!" Popka complained. "We've only been walking for an hour, maybe less," Lolo replied. "I'm hungry, too."

Currently the two were passing a corn field. Popka stopped and began fiddling with one of the stalks of corn. When he got it in his hand, he sat on a fence and bit into it. "A little bland, but corn is corn."

Lolo wasn't so sure if she was hungry enough to trust this strange field of corn in this strange land. "Let's just hope nobody comes here and sees you stealing their food," she said, leaning on the fence.

"Nah. Nobody here but crows," Popka said, chewing. "Got outta here!" he barked, waving his arm at the flocking crows.

"I'd scare 'em off for you if I could," a new voice suddenly said.

"Gwak!" Popka jumped back, dropping his corn. Lolo stood up. Nearby in the corn field was a long eared boy. His hands were tied to tall sticks. He wore cheap, ripped brown clothing and a black hat. Straw was coming out of his hat, like hair, and out of the top of his shirt and sleeves.

Lolo blinked. "Are you a… scarecrow?" she hesitated. "Yep," the boy answered simply. "But I can't seem to scare any crows."

"Why not?" Lolo asked.

"I don't have the brains to," the boy replied.

"Sounds more like courage to me," Popka remarked.

"Nope. Brains. Those crows are always making a fool of me," the boy replied. "Heck, I'm so dumb I can't even get myself down from here."

Popka laughed slightly at this. "Here, let me help you," Lolo offered, stepping over the fence. "That's quite nice of you," the boy said as she began untying his arms. He stumbled slightly when she was done.

"Phew. 'S been a while since I've stood on my own," the boy said, stretching his legs. "By the way, my name's Klonoa."

"I'm Lolo. And this is Popka," Lolo introduced. "Cute dog," Klonoa commented, regarding Popka. "I'm not a dog!!" Popka growled.

"Oh. I'm sorry. See? I don't have the brains to even figure out what's what," Klonoa sighed.

"You sure don't," Popka huffed, crossing his arms. Lolo thought for a moment. "Maybe… the Wizard of Moo can help," she suggested. Popka didn't seem to like where this was going.

"Wizard of Moo, huh? Worth a shot. I'd do anything to get me a brain," Klonoa replied. He paused. "Where is this 'Wizard of Moo?'"

"He's at the end of this yellow brick road, so I've been told. I'm heading their, too," Lolo answered. "Would you like to come, too?"

Popka slapped a hand to his head, shaking it slowly with a sigh. "Would I! I mean…" Klonoa paused, embarrassed by his sudden exclamation. "I'd be delighted."

"So long as your 'brainless' disease isn't contagious," Popka grumbled.

"Brainless disease? Is that for real?" Klonoa asked. Popka sniggered. "Nah, never mind. You might actually at least entertain me 'til we get there." He began walking forward.

"All right! Off to the Wizard of Moo!"


	3. Chapter 3: Heartless

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

Warning: There's a lot of strong language in this chapter

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**Chapter 3: Heartless**

"Look! Apple trees!" Popka cried happily. He, Lolo, and Klonoa had entered a forest eventually by following the yellow brick road. In front of them were a few apple trees.

"I'm still hungry," Popka remarked. "I'm a little hungry, too," Lolo admitted. "I dunno. I hear that apple trees can get pretty stingy," Klonoa warned.

"Bah! You really have no brains at all, huh? Apple trees don't have feelings," Popka scowled. "Really? Hmm," Klonoa asked, putting a finger to his chin.

Lolo reached up and plucked a red apple off of a branch. One of the branches suddenly moved and slapped the apple out of her hands. She backed up in alarm.

"So you like pickin' apples, huh?" someone asked. It was seemingly the tree. "Talking trees... Been there, done that," Popka muttered blandly.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't think—" Lolo began. "That I would mind? Of course not! I'm a tree, after all," the tree grunted sarcastically. "So you're a human. Can I pick your hair?" The tree poked Lolo's head with a branch. "Hey!"

"Ah, let's go, Lolo. I'll bet these apples taste all sour and yucky, anyway," Klonoa said. "You got something against sour apples?" the tree asked. "No. Just the sarcastic ones, like yours," Klonoa replied.

"Why you!" the tree tried to swipe Klonoa with a branch, but missed as the two backed away. It then began picking apples from its own branches and throwing them at them. "Well, this works, too," Klonoa said as they dodged the apples.

Popka flew up, trying to catch the apples in the air. Lolo followed one that fell afar. She heard a _clank_ noise and stopped.

"What the fuck was that?" A voice asked irritably. Lolo looked past a few bushes and froze at what she saw. Silver armor-like substances covered a tall boy from head to toe. An apple was currently on a tin hat on his head.

Lolo blinked. "Um, excuse me," she began. The boy twitched one of his pointy ears, but didn't move. "What the—Hey, go away!" he snarled. Lolo didn't move, examining him curiously.

"Cut it out! I'm not on display at a fucking museum!" the boy yelled. "What's with all the cursing?" Klonoa and Popka walked over with a few apples. "Oh gee. I didn't know the circus was in town. I would've brought my freak repellent," the armored boy said sarcastically.

"No need to be rude…" Lolo muttered. Klonoa cocked his head. "Oh, I get it! You're a talking trashcan," he said. "Fuck off!" the boy snarled, baring his sharp white fangs. Lolo noticed that he was only moving his mouth and no other part of his body.

Popka seemed to notice, too, for he flew up and landed on the boy's stiff arm. "You'd better on crap on me, pigeon brain," the boy growled. "At least he's gotta brain," Klonoa remarked.

"Don't you guys have a village to destroy, or something?" the boy asked irritably. "Not that I can think of," Klonoa replied seriously. "Is something wrong?" Lolo eventually asked. "Everything's wrong!" the boy barked.

"I mean, with your body? Can you move?" Lolo asked. "Does it _look_ like I can move? If I could move I'd have punched you shit heads to Hell hours ago!"

"But we only got here a few minutes ago," Klonoa said. "Is there any way we can help?" Lolo asked. The boy seemed slightly surprised. "Lolo, are you crazy!? Let's just go," Popka yelled.

Lolo looked at the armored boy. He frowned, ears twitching uncomfortably. "I'm a piece of junk. I'm made of tin and I rusted one day when it was raining," he admitted. Popka started laughing. "Hey! Shut your face, shit head! I'd shove my foot up your ass if I could!"

"No need to curse," Klonoa said. "I can't help it!" the boy snapped. The three stared at him for a moment. The boy cleared his throat quickly and looked to the side, as if embarrassed. "Would you just get that oil can over there?" he prompted, motioning with his ears.

On a chopped trunk was the can of oil, filled. "That's convenient," Popka muttered. "No it's not! I put that there so I _wouldn't_ rust. But I did anyway! Now pour some on me so that I can take this fucking apple off my head!" the boy exclaimed angrily.

Lolo obeyed. She took the can of oil and carefully poured some on the boy's limbs. He slowly tried them out, now miraculously able to move. He shot out a hand toward Popka, but he was faster and flew away with a quick yell.

"Could be better," the boy commented, looking at his hand. He took the apple off of his head and threw it at Klonoa, striking him in the face. "Hey! What was that for?" Klonoa asked. "For calling me a fucking trashcan! What else?"

"Why do you curse so much?" Klonoa asked, rubbing his nose. "'Cause I—" the boy paused mid-sentence and continued in a quieter voice. "I can't hear you," Popka whistled with amusement.

The boy gritted his fangs irritably and repeated, "I have no heart."

"No heart?!" Lolo exclaimed, surprising all of them. "How can that be? How are you alive?"

"I'm a tin wolf. I don't need a heart to live," the boy replied.

"You need it for manners, though," Klonoa said. The boy didn't deny this, scratching an ear. Lolo shifted slightly.

"Maybe… Maybe the Wizard of Moo can give you a heart." Popka made an exasperated sigh. "Not again…"

"The Wizard of who?" the boy asked. "Moo," Klonoa answered. "We're all going to see him. Why not come with us?" Lolo offered. The boy twitched his ears hesitantly. "I guess… I've got nothing better to do," he eventually replied.

"What's your name?"

"Guntz."

"I'm Lolo, and this is Popka. We're going to the Wizard of Moo to find a way to get home."

"I'm Klonoa. I'm going to get a brain."

Guntz made a toothy grin with slight amusement. "You sure need it." Klonoa continued to rub his nose. Lolo smiled.

A sudden explosion caught them all off guard. "Well, well, well," crackled a familiar raspy voice. The four spun around to see the Wicked Witch on top of an old house nearby.

"Got some body guards, I see. But they'll do you no good. Pathetic things…" the witch started. She looked at Klonoa. "I'll feed you to the cows," she said. Klonoa twitched his long ears uneasily. Guntz grinned slightly at the insult.

The witch then turned to him. "And I'd use you as a trashcan!" she laughed. "Come down here and say that, bitch!" Guntz snarled. "No need. Here's only a portion of what you'll receive if you stick around with that girl," the witch warned.

She held out her hand and a fire ball shot out from it. It landed in front of the four. Klonoa yelled in alarm, staggering back to avoid catching fire. Guntz quickly stomped out the fire with his metal foot.

When the fuss was over with, they realized that the witch had gone already. Klonoa and Guntz looked at Lolo expectantly. Lolo looked down.

"I'm sorry… I guess I forgot to mention that a Wicked Witch is after me," she admitted. "Doesn't seem like an easy thing to forget," Klonoa said. "More like Wicked bitch if you ask me," Guntz growled.

They looked at him. "We're not gonna let that old hag scare us, right?" He asked. Klonoa fidgeted. "But she's got fire," he mumbled. "Yeah, well… if she's got water then I'm fucked, too. But she's not gonna call me a trashcan and get away with it!" Guntz replied.

"Yeah! She called me a freaky little dog!" Popka butted in. "You are a freaky little dog," Guntz remarked. "What'd you say?!" Popka growled. "I don't repeat myself," Guntz growled back.

"So… we're still going?" Lolo asked hesitantly.

"Hell yeah."

"Of course!"

Klonoa shifted uneasily for a moment, but eventually nodded, as well.

Lolo smiled. "Thank you."

"No need for that. We're all in this for our own selfish reasons," Guntz said. "Yeah. All for one and one for all," Klonoa agreed.

Lolo paused, looking at the two. "You know… I feel like I've met you two before," she said.

Guntz and Klonoa exchanged glanced. "That's unlikely, I think. I haven't met many people since before I was made. Though I don't really have the brains to remember much," Klonoa said. "I've been in this forest all my life. Haven't seen that many people, either. Didn't you say you were from somewhere else anyway?" Guntz asked.

Lolo nodded slowly, still unsure. "Oh well. We've got more important things to think about," Popka prompted.

"That's right. We've gotta get to the Wizard of Moo quickly, before that witch and her fire come back," Klonoa nodded.

Guntz shoved Klonoa slightly. "You're just being a coward. I _want_ that Wicked bitch to come back."

"Well, I'd just like to get back home as quickly as possible… I'm still worried about my aunt," Lolo said. Popka jumped up.

"Let's get going, then!"


	4. Chapter 4: Scaredy Freak

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

Warning: Major OOC-ness coming up...

* * *

**Chapter 4: Scaredy Freak**

"You know, this yellow brick road doesn't really match this creepy forest."

"Not really… but we have to follow it anyway."

"You guys chickening out?"

"I'm not scared!"

Lolo, Popka, Klonoa, and Guntz had just followed the yellow brick road to a dark, eerie forest. Lolo and Klonoa looked a bit unsure, Popka puffed out his chest, as if to look brave, and Guntz crossed his arms in boredom.

"Let's go, then," the tin wolf prompted, entering the forest. Popka quickly followed. "H-Hey, wait…" Klonoa stammered. He and Lolo exchanged nervous glances, and soon followed the two inside.

"Y-You don't think there are any… ghosts here, do you?" Lolo stammered. "Ghosts? No. But I'm sure there are a _heckofalotta_ wild animals," Guntz replied. "W-Wild animals? Like ones that eat straws?" Klonoa asked. "No. Meat," Guntz answered.

Klonoa sighed with relief. "That doesn't help me, though!" Lolo yelled, a bit flustered. "What kinda animals would be in this forest?" Popka asked.

"Lions."

"Probably tigers."

"And bears, too."

"Oh my…"

"Ah, that's not so bad. In a weird place like this, I'd expect freaky, hybrid, mutant things. Little disappointing," Popka said. "I'd prefer lions, tigers, and bears over something like that," Lolo replied.

There was a sudden, bizarre roar and the four stopped in their tracks. "Y-You th-think that was l-lion?" Klonoa stuttered. "No… sounded more like a dying animal," Guntz answered, twitching his ears. "Poor thing…" Lolo started.

Something green suddenly jumped out of the bushes. The four staggered back in alarm, Klonoa and Guntz falling over on the grass in the process. An odd creature stood on the yellow brick road, making what sounded like a mixture of a hiss and a growl.

The creature had long white fur over its body and shorter green fur on its head and limbs. Around its neck was what looked like a mixture of a golden collar and a scarf.

Short sharp nails were sticking out of the creature's fingers and toes and it was baring its pointy teeth. Its long, flat ears were lifted in an intimidating manner.

"That's no dying animal!"

"That's not even an animal!"

"Happy _now_, Popka?" Lolo scowled. Popka nodded his head quickly, staring ahead wide eyed. The odd creature stood up and made a fist with its hands. "C'mon, c'mon. Which one of you has got any bronze?" It asked.

"Not me—No, sir. I've got no brains at all," Klonoa replied quickly. "I said _bronze_!" The creature growled, turning on Klonoa. Klonoa flinched when it got closer. "Ah, you're nothing but a sack of hay," it mocked.

It looked at Guntz. "And you're just a garbage can. Not worth my time." Guntz twitched. "What'd you call me?!" In a second he was back on his feet. "You wanna fight, freak?!" he snarled.

The creature suddenly back up and stepped on a bent stick on accident. The other side of the stick flung up and struck Guntz in the face, making him fall back again. Popka started laughing. "That was pathetic!"

The creature suddenly looked at him. "You _sound_ tough. But I'll bet you're all bark and no bite!"

"I'm not a—gwak!" Popka yelped in alarm when the creature got closer. He flew up as it chased him around. He quickly landed behind Lolo for unlikely protection.

Lolo hesitated as the creature got closer and did the only thing she could think of.

She slapped it.

Guntz and Klonoa blinked, only guessing what the creature would do next. It certainly didn't do what they had expected.

"W-What'd you do that for? I didn't—I didn't hurt him," the creature stammered in sudden fright, sniffling, a hand over its face where Lolo had slapped it. It held both of its long ears closer to its face, as of that would protect it. Lolo was taken aback for a moment.

"Well… you shouldn't have tried to. You shouldn't pick on people, you know! Especially people smaller than you."

"Yeah!"

"Quiet, Popka."

"Okay…"

The creature sniffed, wiping an ear over one on its wet red eyes. "You're right… I'm just a… just a big coward. I've got no bronze," it admitted. Guntz and Klonoa walked over with weird looks.

"I'm such a coward! I'm afraid of everyone who walks in this forest," the creature stammered. "Then why do you scare them?" Klonoa asked. "To make them go away! I mean, everyone's afraid of me. Just _look_ at me. _I'm_ afraid of me!"

"Well, it was a nice sob-story, but we've really got to go. Right?" Guntz prompted quickly. Popka nodded. "Wait. Why not come with us?" Lolo started.

Guntz and Popka sighed. "Where are you going?" The creature asked, wiping away the last of its tears.

"To the Wizard of Moo! I'm going there to get back home. He's going to get a brain, and… he's going to get a heart," Lolo explained, pointing to the two others.

"Why don't you tell him your shoe size, oh indiscreet one?" Guntz mocked irritably. Lolo blinked, not really understanding what he meant. "You think the Wizard could give me some courage?" The creature asked.

"Of course. At least, I think he can," Klonoa replied. "I'm sure he can!" Lolo exclaimed. "Well, okay… But I'm a little afraid to leave the forest," the creature replied hesitantly. "Actually, this forest is really scary compared to out there," Klonoa said.

"What's your name?"

"Um… King."

"What does that stand for? King of the jungle?"

"More like King of fear."

"More like King of slowing us down! Let's get going, already!"

The four quickly followed Guntz as he stomped further into the forest.

---

An ugly voice crackled with laughter. "Well, well, well. Looks like the pretty just keeps picking up more pathetic toys for me to play with." The Wicked Witch picked up a bowl and began stirring it as she looked into a large crystal ball in front of her. She lifted the spoon and held it toward a green, round winged creature perched on a windowsill of her tower.

"Moo," it chirped, before sipping the liquid. It twitched, before falling out the window. "Well… I guess I'll be ordering delivery for dinner…" the witch muttered. She picked up another bowl as another green creature exactly like the last perched on the windowsill.

It sipped the spoon as she held it to it. This took a bit longer to react, but in the end the creature wound up falling out of the window. "Great! This'll work perfectly!" The witch looked back at her crystal ball, which showed the group of five exiting the forest and entering a field of flowers.

---

"Look! There's Moon City!" Lolo cried out, pointing ahead. Past the long field of flowers were large shiny crystals sticking out of the ground. "Looks kinda creepy," King muttered, fidgeting with his ears. "Everything looks creepy to you," Guntz replied.

"Well, let's hurry!" Klonoa said. "Yeah!" Popka jumped into the air and flew across the field. The others quickly followed.

"C'mon, Guntz. Now _you're_ slowing _us_ down," Klonoa called behind him, seeing Guntz lagging behind. "I don't run," the tin wolf replied blandly, striding along. Lolo was beginning to lag, too. By the time they had reached only half away across the field, they had to stop because Lolo was breathing heavily.

"Jeez, Lolo, I didn't know you were _that_ outta shape," Popka said. "It's not… that… I'm just… suddenly… really…" Lolo slouched down. King and Klonoa quickly went over to help her.

Popka yawned and blinked slowly. "I'm kinda… sleepy," he mumbled, lying down. Lolo lay down, as well. King suddenly began yawning. "Aw, not you, too," Klonoa said in dismay. King didn't reply, only slowly laid down in the flowers.

By the time Guntz had reached them, everyone but Klonoa was asleep. "You guys thought it would take me _that_ long to catch up with you?" He asked, sounding insulted. Klonoa jumped to his feet. "I dunno what happened. They all just fell asleep!" He said quickly. He suddenly yawned.

Guntz raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna fall asleep, too?" He asked. "No, it's just… the yawning... It was catchy," Klonoa answered, yawning quickly again. "Well, now what? We've got three unconscious losers to deal with," Guntz muttered.

"We've gotta help them somehow!" Klonoa suggested. "I say we just leave them here and get our stuff from the Wizard," Guntz replied.

"That's heartless!"

"Yeah, I know!"

"We should call for help. Help!!"

"What good will that do?!"

"Help!!"

"Shut up!"

Amongst the calls and yells, the sky got cloudy and it began to snow. "Snow?" Klonoa mumbled, holding out his hand. He looked down when he heard a groan. Everyone was beginning to wake up.

"Mm, snow? Wasn't it sunny a second ago?" Popka yawned. Lolo stood up. "What happened?" King brushed snow off of his fur. "I think we all fell asleep."

"All of you fell asleep. But me and Guntz didn't," Klonoa replied, looking toward Guntz. He cocked his head when he made no movement. "Aw. Did Guntz get all rusted again?" Popka teased, flying over and landing on Guntz' head.

"Fuck… you," Guntz growled. "Maybe we should leave _you_ behind and get _our_ stuff from the Wizard," Klonoa mocked. "Damn it! I'll kill you!"

"Yeah. _That'll_ get us to help you," King muttered. "How _will_ we help him, anyway?" Klonoa asked. "I've got the oil can with me," Lolo replied. "I don't think we should use it," King said. "Say that to my face, freak!" Guntz barked. King immediately fled behind Lolo.

Slowly, Lolo went over and poured the oil on Guntz' limbs. He immediately lunged toward King and held a fist at him. King cowered fearfully. Guntz grunted. "Bah! You're not worth the energy." He suddenly turned to Klonoa, who flinched quickly. "Neither are you…"

"That's… a little better," Lolo commented, watching. "Hey… you guys hear that?" Popka asked. Everyone listened. "Where's that freaky singing coming from?" Guntz asked. "It's coming from _nowhere_!" King yelled.

The five exchanged glances, before running through the rest of the flower field as fast as they could.

"Let's get outta here!"

* * *

Why the King of Sorrow? Good question… I was honestly stuck between Chipple and the King of Sorrow for the longest time… eventually I thought the King of Sorrow would be more interesting… -Shrugs- Meh… the next chapter'll be better. 


	5. Chapter 5: Moon City

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Moon City**

Upon running through the field of flowers as fast as they could, the five soon reached a huge blue door. There was a large knocker at the center of it. Guntz immediately grabbed it and slammed it roughly to the door repeatedly.

"Let us in before this music… kills… us…" his voice trailed off. The five looked around slowly. "It stopped," King muttered. Popka sighed with relief.

A smaller, round door in the large door suddenly opened above their heads, making them jump in alarm. "Who knocked?!" someone yelled irritably, looking out from the door.

"Moo person!" Popka shrieked when he saw the blue Moo-like man. The man scrutinized them for a moment. "Can't you read?" He suddenly asked.

"I don't think so," Klonoa replied quietly. "Never tried…" Guntz shoved him back. "Yeah, we can read," he said. "Then read the sign!" The Moo-person replied loudly. "What sign?" Lolo asked. "The one on the—"

The man looked on the door silently. Quickly, he closed the round door and opened it again after a second. He hung a sign on the large door. "That sign!" With that, he closed the round door.

"'Use bell, knocker out of order,'" King read aloud. "That's… weird," Guntz commented. " Bell…?" Lolo looked around until she saw a long string hanging next to the door. She pulled it down and a loud ringing was sounded.

The Moo-man opened the round door again, smiling cheerfully. "That's better! Now what can I do you for?" He asked.

"We'd like to see the Wizard of Moo," Lolo answered. The Moo person suddenly shook his head, as if not believing what he just heard. "No, no, and a million times no! No one sees the Wizard of Moo! Not even me! _No one_!"

Guntz crossed his arms. "I knew it. He doesn't even exist."

"Oh, yes he does!"

"Prove it."

The Moo shook his head quickly again, this time irritably. "Don't mess with me! Now, begone! Or I'll sent the guard out—"

"Please, mister, we _have_ to see the Wizard of Moo," Lolo insisted. Popka suddenly jumped up. "Yeah. How could you say 'no' to a face like hers?"

The three boys exchanged glances, then agreed with another "yeah." Lolo flushed slightly. The Moo-man was flushing a bit, as well.

"Well…. All right! You can come in… But I can't guarantee you'll see the Wizard of Moo!"

"I knew it. What a pervert," Guntz grunted as the Moo-man closed the round door again. The large door then started opening, revealing a large room inside. More blue Moo people were there. They stared at the five curiously.

Popka jumped on Lolo's head nervously. A different blue Moo-man walked over to them. "Where can I take you folk? Moo," he asked. "To the Wizard of Moo, please," Lolo replied. Like the other one, the Moo-man shook his head quickly. But before he could say anything, Popka repeated his last tactic. "How can you refuse to an innocent girl?" He asked, as if the Moo-man were at some fault.

Lolo looked down as the Moo-man looked at her. "W-Well, okay! Follow me, moo," the man said eventually, walking off quickly. "I fear they're all pedophiles," King muttered. "At least you're useful for _something_," Guntz said, regarding Lolo.

The five followed the Moo-man across the busy room. A loud maniacal laughter made everyone look up. Through a large skylight on the ceiling of the room, they could see a black object flying around in the sky.

"It's a fly."

"It's a crow."

"It's Superman!"

"You idiots! It's that Wicked bitch!"

Behind the flying witch was a trail of black smoke. With it, she spelled something out in the sky. It read:

_"Surrender, Lollo." _

"Who the Hell spells 'Lolo' wrong?" Guntz asked. "Someone who doesn't have the decency to put makeup on when their face looks like a turkey suffering from acne, apparently," Popka replied. "I seriously have no idea what's going on," King said quietly.

By now, all of the Moo people where freaking out, yelling something about the Wizard of Moo. They all started running toward another large door. The Moo man from before, now oddly dressed, stood in front of them all. "Calm down! Everyone, calm down! The Wizard with surely settle all of this—so just go home," he yelled quickly.

The crowd settled down and began separating. The group of five walked up to the man. "Can we see the Wizard now?" Lolo asked. "No!" The Moo man replied sharply. "Lookit the pretty face," Popka whistled.

"That won't work this time!"

"_'This'_ time!"

"Oh! Just leave me alone!"

"But we have to see the Wizard immediately!"

"Why?!"

"She's Lolo."

"The 'Lollo' in the sky?!"

"Yeah…"

"Well, fine! I'll be right back!"

With that, the Moo-man entered the large door and closed it behind him. The five looked at each other. "This is great! We'll have our stuff in no time," Klonoa said happily. "That's, like, the first thing you've said in this entire chapter," Guntz muttered. "No, I said something before."

"Hardly noticed…"

"Well, it's hard to keep track of five characters in a parody that's going faster than the blink of an eye," King said. Guntz crossed his arms. "Whatever."

The large door suddenly opened again, making the group jump together. "The Wizard says…" the Moo began softy, but then continued in a suddenly louder voice, "go away!" And he stomped back through the door.

The five were in shock for a moment. Lolo slouched down. "Now what…?" She asked quietly. "Nothing, I guess," Klonoa replied. "You're telling me this whole damn trip was for nothing?" Guntz growled.

"I'll never get to see my aunt again… She's sick, and she might get even more sick worrying about me. I shouldn't have run away…"

The five looked back when they heard loud sniffling. The Moo-man was standing outside the door, crying himself to possibly dehydration. "Th-That's so s-sad," he stammered.

"So you'll let us in?" Popka asked. "No!" The Moo-man yelled. He walked over to King and blew his nose in one of his ears, as if it were a tissue.

"Ew!" King quickly pulled his ear back and it wound up slapping Guntz in the face. Guntz began snarling viciously. By the time King realized what had happened, he was already being charged at. He screamed fearfully and ran off, Guntz right behind him.

The two ran through the door, which had been left open. "Hey! You can't go in there! Come back! Mooo!" The Moo-man ran after them.

Lolo, Klonoa, and Popka exchanged glances, before quickly following. King and Guntz ran down a long dark hall. King suddenly stopped, making Guntz run into him unexpectedly. "Ow! What'd you stop for?!" Guntz growled, apparently forgetting why he was chasing King in the first place.

"A bi—a b-b—a bi—"

"Spit it out!"

"A b-big ball!" King pointed forward in a room the hall had led them to. In front of them was a large floating blue sphere with a face and what looked like white hands. The other four soon entered to room, as well.

"Well, that's not so scary," Klonoa said. "Raagh!!" The sphere yelled, suddenly looking angry and turning into a deep red color. Klonoa and King screamed at the same time. Fire was blasting from the ground around the large sphere.

"Who are you? I thought I told you to go away. Go away!" The sphere growled in a deep voice that didn't really match how it looked. "But we need your help!" Lolo said bravely. "My help? Don't make me laugh!" The sphere started laughing.

After a moment the sphere stopped laughing and looked at the group. "So… you, tin wolf. You want a heart, eh? You're just a trashcan. What good would a heart do you?"

Guntz started growling, but stopped when more fire spat out of the ground. This big sphere was too much for even him. Though he really didn't want to, he'd have to let that insult slide.

"And you, scarecrow. You want a brain? I'll bet the crows will just eat it out of you, like all of your straw," the sphere laughed. Klonoa only gulped, unable to defend himself.

"And you… freaky green thing…" There was a paused. "Boo!" King screamed and ran behind Lolo. The sphere began laughing again.

"Cut that out!" Lolo scowled. "Oh, calm down. I'll give you what you want."

"Really?" The five asked at once. "Yes… but first you must… get the Wicked Witch's broomstick and bring it to me… Just to prove that you are worthy."

"Sounds like fun," Guntz suddenly said. "Sounds hard," Klonoa stammered. "Just _how_ will we do that?" Lolo asked. "Figure it out yourselves… Now, _begone_!!" The sphere yelled loudly, much fire blasting out of the ground until it seemed like the whole room was filled with smoke.

The five ran out all at once, for safety and fresh air. "You heard him! Now get out!" The Moo-man yelled when they had all exited the door. He immediately slammed it closed.

"I forgot he was there," Guntz said quietly. "N-Now what?" King stammered. "We… gotta get the Wicked Witch's broomstick, right?" Klonoa replied. "Bah! You guys are bein' chickens," Popka said.

"Look who's talking, stapled lips. You didn't say a word in there," Guntz shot back. "I didn't need to," Popka quickly defended. "Whatever. This is a perfect chance to get my revenge on that Wicked bitch," Guntz grinned, clenching a fist.

"Yeah, just like how you got revenge on that sphere just now," Klonoa muttered. "What was that?!" Guntz snarled. "Nothing!" Klonoa replied quickly, smiling sheepishly.

"J-Just who is with W-Wicked Witch, anyway?" King stuttered. "Wicked _bitch_," Guntz corrected. "Someone we're gonna meet soon, unfortunately," Popka replied.

The five exchanged uneasy glances. "Well, waiting here ain't gonna get us there any faster," Guntz prompted. The other four nodded.

"Let's get going, then…"

* * *

The next chapter might be uploaded a little late because… I haven't written it yet. But there'll probably only be one or two more chapters after this. 


	6. Chapter 6: Attack of the Flying Moos

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Attack of the Flying Moos**

"_I'd turn back if I were you."_

The group of five stared at the old, dirty sign for the longest time. "I think we should listen to it," King suggested. "I think you should shut up," Guntz replied. "Look. There's another sign," Klonoa said.

The group walked through the creepy dark forest toward another sign. It read:

"_Seriously. Turn back."_

King nodded and turned around, but the others quickly pulled him back. "And there's another," Klonoa said again, pointing ahead. They got closer.

"_Can you not read, or something?"_

The sign after read:

"_Turn back, damn it!"_

After that read:

"_It's your funeral."_

"_The Wicked Witch will get you for sure now."_

"_Wow. You're pretty lucky to have gotten this far already."_

"_I'll bet you're just reading all of these signs and not even realizing that you're getting further into this forest."_

Guntz gave Klonoa a knock on the head. "Would you quit following these signs?!" He growled. "Why?" Klonoa asked, rubbing his head. "Because the last sign just obviously gave away why they're even here."

"It did?"

"Wha—Didn't you read it?!"

"I can't read."

Klonoa received another knock on the head. "D-Do you guys r-remember wh-where the exit is?" King stuttered. The group was silent. "Good going, idiot," Guntz said to Klonoa. "Thank you," Klonoa replied, as if he were just praised. "Jeez, you really are brainless," Popka muttered.

"You guys don't think there're ghosts here, do you?" Lolo hesitated. "Not this again," Guntz sighed. "G-G-Ghosts?" King stammered. "It _is_ a different forest than where King was," Klonoa said.

A sudden caw in the trees made Lolo, Klonoa, and King jump. A caw elsewhere made them jump again. "I don't like crows," Klonoa muttered. "If you guys are going to freak out about birds, than how the hell are we going to defeat that bitch?!" Guntz howled irritably.

"C-Cant we just _borrow_ her broom, or something?" King asked. "Figures you'd say something like that," Popka commented. "There's another sign," Klonoa said quieter, not wanting to get hit again.

They walked over. "'Watch out for flying Moos,'" Guntz read. "F-Flying Moos?" Popka squeaked. A quiet chanting made the five look up from the sign. It quickly got louder and could be comprehended as what sounded like "Moo".

"Flying Moos!!" Popka screamed as the round, winged creatures came into sight in the gray sky. "Shit, there's a million of them," Guntz growled. King and Klonoa back up together.

The Moos descended as they got closer and pretty much rammed right into the group. A lot of the Moos were knocking themselves out when they hit Guntz' armored body. A large group was chasing the screaming King in circles. Another group was having fun literally tearing Klonoa apart.

Lolo tripped over a root as she was fleeing the swarm of Moos. A whole bunch surrounded her and picked her up. She screamed as they lifted her into the air and flew off.

"Hey! What about me?!" Popka called as all the Moos began to leave. He flew into the air, but was soon caught up in the huge swarm of Moos all leaving at once and disappeared from sight.

As soon as all the Moos had left, it became eerily silent. Guntz had gotten out of the mess pretty much unscathed. He looked around for the others, but saw no one. Straw spread all around nearby caught his attention and he walked closer.

"Don't step on me!"

Guntz froze at the sudden yell and looked down to see the upper-half of Klonoa's body. "What the hell happened to you?" Guntz asked. "Those Moos were worse than the crows! They tore me apart as if I were some Barbie doll!"

"Where's that green guy?" Guntz asked. "King? I dunno. He ran off," Klonoa replied. "Coward," Guntz muttered. "Hurry up and get my legs! We gotta go save Lolo!" Klonoa prompted.

---

"Heheheh."

Lolo stood, stiff from head to toes, as the Wicked Witch circled her with an ugly grin. The Moos had brought her to the tower. "How unexpected of you to drop by," the witch began.

"Yeah right. As if you hadn't orders these Moos to capture us," Popka said. He was currently being held by two Moos. The witch turned on him. "I ordered them to capture _her_, not you… you freaky little dog thing," she said with a grimace. Popka growled.

"Nevertheless, I can still use you," the witch said, turning to Lolo again. "Give me those slippers," she ordered. "But… I can't. Lephise said—" Lolo's voice trailed off when the witch turned around again. "Kill that mutt! Drown it, burn it, eat it—I don't care," she ordered.

Popka squealed as the Moos lifted him into the air. "No, stop!" Lolo screamed. "Then give me the slippers!" the witch demanded. "Fine! Take them," Lolo finally agreed. The witch grinned and bent down.

Lolo lifted a foot slightly as the witch grabbed it and tried to take the slipper off. She pulled and pulled, but it wouldn't come off.

"Your feet are fat."

"My feet aren't fat! It's the slippers. They're really… tight."

"No… it's magic…"

"Can I have Popka back now?"

"Oh, sure. Here you go," the witch began casually, motioning to Moos holding Popka to come closer. But just as Popka was almost in reach, she yelled, "No, you idiot! Your mutt is mine until I get those slippers!"

Popka suddenly bit on of the Moos' round hands. It squealed and dropped him. He fled out of the room as fast as he could. "Catch it, you idiots!" The witch ordered. The Moos quickly flew after Popka.

"Now, then…" the witch began again. "I can't take off those slippers if you're still alive, see? So… I need to kill you, obviously. But how…?" The witch paused in sadistic thought. Lolo gulped.

The witch suddenly turned from her and picked up a large hourglass containing red sand. She flipped it over and placed it back on the table it had been on. "This is how long you have to live. I'm feeling merciful, so spend your last minutes crying in the corner or something…" The witch put hand to her forehead. "While I go get an aspirin..."

She left the room and locked the door behind her. Lolo stared after her for the longest time. She wasn't sure whether to hope that the others would save her or prepare to die. Honestly, the others weren't too reliable…

---

Popka flew through the dark sky, three Moos hot on his trail. "How many damn pieces of straw do you have?" Popka twitched his ears at the irritable and very recognizable voice. He looked down and saw Klonoa and Guntz in the forest.

Quickly, he descended, the Moos immediately following his every move. He flew close to the ground and straight for Guntz. Just when he was about to fly into him, he swooped up.

The Moos weren't as fast, though. With three loud _clank_ noises, they slammed into Guntz and fell to the ground. "What the hell just hit my ass?!" Guntz barked quickly, straightening and spinning around. He looked down incomprehensively at the unconscious Moos.

Popka hovered to the ground. "You guys are still here?! C'mon! We gotta get going," he prompted. "Wait a minute… I'm still putting myself together," Klonoa said, grabbing a patch of straw. He shoved it in his shirt and stood up unsteadily.

"You didn't put me back together right, Guntz," he commented, examining his body. "Who cares? As long as you can walk," Guntz replied carelessly. "Let's go!!" Popka screamed. The two looked at him quickly. "Where's Lolo?" Klonoa asked. "She's at the witch's castle!" Popka answered loudly.

"You left her there?" Guntz asked, as if he were at some fault. Popka paused. "Well, yeah… I—"

"An insult as a man!" Klonoa interrupted. "If you even are a man," Guntz commented. Popka blinked. "You were supposed to stay there and protect her," Klonoa said. "Even if you didn't want to," Guntz added.

"W-Well! It's not my fault! This is supposed to be my important role in the story. So come on!" Popka replied quickly. With that, he flew off. Guntz and Klonoa exchanged glances before following.

"What should we do?"

"I say just barge in there and attack 'em all at once."

"That's stupid! I'm supposed to be the brainless one."

The three were currently hiding behind a large rock. In front of them was the Wicked Witch's castle. Armored guards were walking into it in a line. They chanted, "Moo, moo, moo."

"Moo people…" Popka muttered uneasily. "They've got weapons and armor… What do we have?" Klonoa asked. "This big gun that looks plastic… a giant ring… and a Momett doll," Popka replied. "That's great… nothing that's of any use," Guntz muttered irritably.

Suddenly, there was a loud call of "moo" behind the three and they felt three guards leap on them. There was a long ruckus of yells and barks and then suddenly a long silence.

Finally, the three looked back over the rocks, now dressed in armor. Guntz spat fur out of his mouth. "Jeez… I'm scared of you now, Guntz," Klonoa muttered. "Hey, I've got fangs. Why not use 'em?" Guntz replied casually.

No one seemed to have noticed them, as Moo guards kept entering and exiting the castle. "All right… now." The three quickly revealed themselves from behind the rock and settled into the line of guards entering the castle. Still no one seemed to notice.

When they had entered the castle, they stealthily left the line and hid in the shadows of a corner. "Where's Lolo?" Klonoa asked. "Um…" Popka began quietly. "Oh, c'mon. Don't ruin your only important role in this whole story," Guntz said impatiently. "Hey! If I hadn't bitten Leorina, Lolo and me wouldn't have gotten caught up in that twister and come here," Popka defended. "I don't really understand… but it sounds like it's all your fault," Klonoa replied. Popka paused.

"Whatever. Chances are Lolo's in the room right up here," Guntz said, pointing to a nearby staircase. "What makes you say that?" Klonoa asked. "'Cause the story's almost over and we don't have time to look for her. It's called a 'writer's convenience,'" Guntz replied.

"Right, well… Let's hurry."

* * *

The next chapter is long, but the last. Look forward to it! 


	7. Chapter 7: Like No Other Place

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Klonoa characters or the Wizard of Oz storyline.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Like No Other Place**

"Hey, Lolo! Are you in there?"

Lolo straightened quickly from her slouched position at the voice. She stood up and ran toward the door of the room she was in. "Yes! I'm here," she called back.

"Told you," Guntz said from the other side of the door. "How're we gonna open it?" Popka asked. "I have… an idea," Klonoa suddenly said dramatically. "That's a first," Popka remarked. "It'd better be good," Guntz muttered.

A short moment later…

"This is _not_ a good idea!"

"Charge!"

Klonoa and Popka held Guntz' metallic body up and ran for the door. With a loud _bang_, it swung open in pieces. "It worked!" Klonoa cheered, proud of himself. Distracted, he let go of Guntz. Unable to hold his weight by himself, Guntz fell on top of Popka.

Guntz quickly jumped to his feet and struck Klonoa's head. "You idiot!" he growled furiously. Lolo wasn't sure what to do. "Lolo! Are you okay?" Popka asked. "Yes. I'm fine," she replied.

"Good. Then let's go," Guntz prompted, cooling down. "Where's King?" Lolo asked as they quickly exited the room. "That coward ran off. Who needs him?" Guntz replied. They ran down the staircase and headed toward the castle exit.

A large door leading to the last room swung closed in their faces just as they reached it. A crackling laugh made them turn around. The Wicked Witch was standing from atop the staircase with the now finished hourglass. "It's time, my pretty," she laughed.

Moo guards suddenly swarmed into the room. With dramatic slowness, they got closer. Klonoa noticed an unexpected button on the wall next to him. "What does this button do?" He asked quietly, pressing it. As if in some Loony Toons cartoon, a Grand piano suddenly appeared from the ceiling and fell. With a quick series of random, out of tune notes, it crushed half of the Moo guards below.

"That was random."

"That was awesome!"

"Let's go!"

The four ran around the piano and up a different staircase. It led them outside on the walls of the castle. Guards were swarming from all over the place, making the group turn around several times.

"We were just here!" Guntz said when they entered a room. They couldn't run out again, though, as guards came in and surrounded them. The Wicked Witch pushed them aside and got closer.

"No more games! I want those slippers _now_," she demanded. Guntz and Klonoa stepped forward protectively. The witch grinned. "I see." She held her broom stick up toward a burning torch. The straw end of it caught fire and she lowered it again. "How's _this_?"

The witch suddenly lunged the burning end of the broom toward them. Klonoa's arm immediately started burning. "Ah!! I'm on fire! Put it out—Put it out!" He yelled, throwing his arm around. "Stand still! You're making it worse," Guntz barked.

"King to the rescue!"

King, dressed in armor like the others, suddenly jumped into the room. He made a charging yell, holding up a spear that the other guards had, and started running toward the witch.

He didn't get far, though, before tripping over a bucket of water. The bucket went flying as he fell. Water sprayed everywhere. A large splash hit Klonoa's arm, putting the fire out. He sighed in relief.

"King to the rescue, huh?" Guntz mocked irritably. A scream caught them all off guard. The witch's face had been splashed and steam was emitting from her body. "I've been hit! Who would've thought that I'd ever get _wet_? I'm melting!" she yelled.

The witch's body suddenly got smaller and smaller until only her clothes were left. Everyone just stared. "She's dead," one of the Moo guards suddenly remarked. They all looked at the group as King got up again. "Wasn't me…"

"What's your name?" Another Moo guard asked King. "Err… King," he replied hesitantly. "All hall King! The Wicked Witch it dead!" The Moos cheered all at once, bowing. The group exchanged glances.

"So, uh… we'll just be taking this broom and be on our way," Popka said quietly, picking up the now burnt out stick. The guards didn't object. Quickly, the group left before the guards could have another mood swing.

---

"Why are you here? Go away!"

The booming voice of the giant sphere echoed throughout the room in Moon City. "We got the Wicked Witch's broomstick, just like you told us to," Lolo replied. "What? Impossible! Don't lie to me," the sphere yelled.

"I'm not lying! Here it is," Lolo said, holding up the broom. "N-Now… w-we want our stuff," King stammered. "Wait!" The sudden yell made a few of them jump. There was a silence. "Come back tomorrow."

The group blinked. "What?" Klonoa asked. "Come back tomorrow! Then I will give you what you want," the sphere repeated. "No way! We went through all of that trouble and we want our stuff _now_," Guntz growled.

"Don't question my actions! Come back tomorrow!" the sphere demanded. Popka twitched his ears, noticing a curtain in the corner of the room that he didn't notice before. He quickly, he hopped over and peeked inside.

"Oh, guys, I think you'll want to see this," Popka whistled with amusement. "What? Go away!" the sphere yelled as the group walked over to Popka. He drew the curtain back, revealing a short, blue boy. He wore a red cape and had a child's face. He was holding a microphone to his face.

"Go away!" Yelled the sphere. The group stared down at him. "Oh…" the boy dropped the microphone in defeat. "Um… who are you?" Lolo asked. "I'm… the Wizard of Moo," the boy admitted in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.

Guntz cracked his knuckles. "All right. Stand back, everyone. This is gonna get ugly," he warned. The boy backed up. "Wait a minute…" Lolo interrupted. "Who are you? You can't really have been the Wizard of Moo." The boy shifted.

"It's true. I am the Wizard of Moo… I guess. My real name is Huepow." Guntz growled. "Wizard or not, I'm hoping you can still get us our stuff, for your sake." The boy examined the group for a moment. "What were you expecting?" He suddenly asked.

Klonoa, Guntz, and King exchanged glances. "The ability to think, feel, and be brave can't come in any physical form. They're all inside us, we just need to find and use them correctly," Huepow began.

He looked at Klonoa. "You _thought_ it'd be good to help Lolo on her journey to receive a brain. You _thought _you should defeat the Wicked Witch with the others. In reality, everything we do we think about. If you didn't have a brain… heck, you'd be drooling and mumbling incomprehensible words all the time."

Klonoa blinked thoughtfully. Huepow looked at Guntz. "And you want a heart. Meanwhile you were able to help and stay with this group peacefully. You didn't even use them for your own convenience and come here by yourself to make it easier."

"Can't say it didn't cross my mind," Guntz said. "You had the heart to work with these guys and help them all get here together," Huepow added. Guntz looked to the side, as if embarrassed. "Your voice irritates me…"

Huepow then turn to King. "And you were too afraid to even leave your forest before meeting them. But now you can travel to unknown places and challenge witches. How much more courage can you ask for? Everyone gets scared sometimes."

King nodded slowly. "Bah! Don't act like you expected him to say that," Guntz said, swiping a hand near King's face. "What about Lolo?" Klonoa suddenly asked. Huepow paused, frowning.

"Well... I think there is one way," he said quietly. "What?" Lolo asked. "Well, I wasn't born here, you know. I can here by accident. You see… I was riding my seadoph to Cress, the Moon Kingdom, my home, when we were suddenly attacked by mad crows."

"Evil crows…" Klonoa muttered quietly. Huepow continued. "My seadoph was injured and we landed here. The Moo people here thought I was some sort of god. I couldn't help but… agree."

"You're the only one that needs a heart here," Guntz remarked. "He could use a brain, too," Klonoa added. Huepow stared at the floor. "So… your seadoph," Lolo began slowly.

"She's healed by now. But I never really thought about going home… I guess I should. I am the prince and all." They group blinked. "Prince?" They echoed at once.

Huepow led the group outside of Moon City. A group of Moo people watched, most probably not even knowing that the little boy was their 'great Wizard of Moo'. They approached a large lake they hadn't noticed before.

"Pamela!" Huepow yelled. Suddenly, a large golden fish emerged from the water. It floated majestically in the air in front of them. "Here she is. My seadoph," Huepow said, petting the fish's side. The five gaped.

"We're going home, Pamela," Huepow told the fish. Pamela made a squeal that sounded like the whistle of a flute. "C'mon, Lolo. She gets restless easily," Huepow prompted, climbing onto Pamela's back.

Lolo and Popka quickly joined him. "I guess this is goodbye," Lolo began. "See ya, weirdoes!" Popka barked cheerfully. "Watch it, mutt, or I'll tear you off that fish as it's leaving," Guntz warned.

"Goodbye, Lolo. And thanks. If it wasn't for you, none of us would have gotten what we were missing," Klonoa said. King nodded and Guntz simply crossed his arms, too stubborn to admit it, too.

Lolo smiled sadly. "I'll never forget you all," she said. "How could you?" Popka asked. Pamela suddenly jerked. "And we're off!" Huepow yelled. The large fish elegantly waved two thin, long wing-like strips coming from its body. It lifted higher in the air slowly.

Popka looked down. Something red suddenly caught his eye. "My bandana!" he suddenly yelled. He reached out for the piece if cloth that had loosened from his neck. He couldn't reach it and quickly jumped off of Pamela.

"Popka!" Lolo called. She jumped off after him. Popka retrieved his bandana as Lolo reached him. She noticed Pamela starting to fly away. "Wait! Don't leave!" she yelled. "I'm sorry! Pamela's become quite untrained since we came here. She won't stop!" Huepow's voice faded as Pamela's pace quickened and they were far in the sky.

"I'm sorry, Lolo," Popka apologized quietly, tying his bandana on. "It's okay…" Lolo mumbled. Klonoa, Guntz, and King walked over. "Why don't you… just stay here?" Klonoa asked.

Lolo paused. "I can't… I'm still worried about my aunt… I may have wanted to run away once, but… I really miss Lunatea," Lolo replied, close to tears. The three boys looked at each other sympathetically.

Exclamations caught their attention. The Moo people were pointing at the sky, murmuring loudly. "It's a… bubble," King remarked. "A big bubble," Guntz added. "It's Lephise," Lolo said.

The large bubble slowly floated to the ground in front of the group and from it appeared Lephise. "Lephise, please tell me you can help me get home," Lolo pleaded. "Nope," Lephise answered with unexpected casualness. Lolo stared at the ground.

"You can do it by yourself," Lephise added, smiling. "I can?" Lolo asked. "Certainly. You always could. But first you had to find it in yourself to," Lephise explained. Lolo blinked.

"What does home mean to you?" Lephise asked. "Well… It's where I live; where I belong. I… It's a place I know I can always go to… whenever I want. It's a place like no other," Lolo answered thoughtfully. "Then that's it," Lephise said simply.

"You mean…" Lolo began. "Yes. You can go home whenever you like," Lephise replied. Popka hopped on Lolo's headed. "Me, too!" Lephise nodded, smiling still. Lolo turned around, facing the boys. "So… this is goodbye, again," she said.

"Goodbye again," Klonoa replied. "We won't forget you, either," King said. Guntz said nothing, his arms crossed. Klonoa nudged him, catching him off guard. "Yeah, well… hope your… aunt's all right, and stuff," he mumbled quietly.

Lolo smiled. "Are you ready?" Lephise asked. "Yes… I am," Lolo replied, facing her again. "All right. Now, close your eyes."

Lolo closed her eyes.

"Tap your heels together three times."

Lolo taped her heels together three times.

"And think to yourself, 'there's no place like home.'"

_There's no place like home... there's no place like home... there's no place... like... home..._

"…up… Wake… Lolo… Wake up. Lolo!"

Lolo slowly opened here eyes at the sound of the in-fading voice. She widened them quickly when she saw her aunt. She immediately recognized where she was. She was in her house, in her room, on her bed.

"You were talking in your sleep," her aunt said, placing a wet cloth on her head. Lolo quickly sat up. "I'm… home?" she mumbled. "Of course. You've always been home," her aunt replied. Lolo paused thoughtfully.

"Is she finally awake?" A familiar voice asked. Three boys looked in from outside through the large window in the room. One was carrying a young boy on his shoulders. "Yes. She seems a little delirious… but fine," the aunt replied.

"I think… I had a dream…" Lolo said slowly. "You most certainly did. Tossing and turning in bed all day and mumbling such strange things," her aunt remarked. "But… it couldn't have been a dream… it was so real…"

"All dreams seem real while you're having them," one of the boys said. Lolo stared at each one for a moment, then she looked at the younger boy. "Say anything about the kid and I will _kill_ you," the boy carrying the kid grunted.

"What's with the kid?" Lolo looked over to see Popka jump up on her bed. The boy sighed. "I'm babysitting, okay? One of the only ways to get money nowadays," he answered irritably. The two other boys smiled.

"Yes… I remember you. You were all in my dream, even the little boy," Lolo said. The boys exchanged glanced. "Us, sure, but you've never seen the kid before," one of them remarked.

"Dreams are strange things. Just forget about it and rest," the aunt insisted, making Lolo lay down. The boys left the window and continued with whatever they had been doing. Popka lay next to Lolo on her sheets.

The two caught each other's eyes. Popka smiled, and Lolo did, too. It was there own little secret, then; of the journey they had in their so-called "dream." Lolo sighed peacefully.

"There really is no place like home…"

* * *

And that's it. I hope you enjoyed it! Now I'll get to working on _New, Interesting, and Unusual_. Bye-bye for now! 


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